Girl With a Notebook

Living life with purpose and creativity. . . or trying to, anyway.

Who’s the Girl with a Notebook?

Hi, welcome to Girl With a Notebook. You can call me Val.

I began writing in this space to sort through the complicated contents of my own heart. . . and to make sense of where my family’s been over the last ten years — literally and emotionally.

So I’m married to a guy who serves in the Army. I call him TM on the blog. That’s short for Travellin’ Man. We met at a big state university in Texas. We were big time English nerds. I fell for him because he recited French poetry to me on our study dates, and he rode a motorcycle. That was about all I knew about him when I agreed to be his bride. It’s worked out pretty well.

TM has been in the Army for 12 years now. I often write about what this has meant for us as a family. I also write about our three kids. You can read about them here.

So, I’m an Army Wife, right?

Wrong.

Honestly, the term ‘Army Wife’ makes me cringe a little bit. Mainly because it’s one-dimensional and doesn’t do justice to the women who marry into this life. My husband’s commitment to serve his country in the Army has certainly shaped our life. But it doesn’t define me as a person. I’m so much more than an Army Wife. . . as is every woman who is married to a military guy.

This life isn’t what you see in the movies or in the media. It’s a hard road. It’s also much funnier and far more absurd than it appears on the surface.

I appreciate that some people are trying to shine the spotlight on the sacrifices that military families have made over the last ten years. In my mind, the best thing someone can do for service members or their families is just to listen to their story.

That’s all any of us really want, isn’t it? To be heard and understood.

TM’s three year-long deployments (one to Iraq and two to Afghanistan) have changed our marriage and the course of our lives in profound ways.

We can’t ever go back to the way it was before. . .

I sometimes feel ambivalent about our military experiences (years spent apart from my husband, giving birth to two of our children without him, the heartache of losing friends to war). At other times, I’m proud and grateful for the opportunities we’ve had (a profound appreciation for one another because of the time we’ve spent apart, incredible friendships we’ve made in the tough times, and the chance to see the world — and actively serve the people in it.)

I don’t dish up political rhetoric here, or sappy sentimentality. I like to tell stories. So I talk about life. Life as it is. And life as it could be.

I don’t like mindless consumerism, dirty politics or PTA meetings.

I get fired up about beautiful things, cheering for the underdog, and redemption stories.

And I’m glad you’re here.

xo, Val

Read My Latest Post
Subscribe via Email
Follow Me on Facebook
Subscribe to the RSS Feed